Monday, September 23, 2013
6 months old
Even though they were taken a month ago, I realized I never posted these pictures a friend took. Emma is crawling now and creeping on furniture. It was definitely not in the plan for her to get into things this early on. Makes me miss those blob days where they just sit there. You put em down, come back, still sitting there like a blob. Maybe early crawling will lead to other early things...potty training, getting a job, etc. Just kidding! Sorta....
Sunday, September 8, 2013
Top 7 Things You Should NEVER Say To a Working Mom
I've been thinking about writing this post for a while now, not that I have more than like 5 followers, but the other day I heard another one of these comments and thought maybe a little blog venting would prevent me from burning down their house next time I think about them. :) I know there are probably worse things you could actually say to a working mom, but surprisingly enough these are things that I have heard myself from friends, family members, people in our ward, and of course strangers who always seem to think they have a right to weigh in on the situation. I'll also be counting backwards, like a late night show. Ready....
#7 "Don't you think you're abandoning your child?"
I have never left my child in a dumpster or in the wilderness to fend for herself. Talk to the two girls that watch her part time or my husband that watches her till I get home and they'll tell you that I'm constantly trying to get off even ten mins early to minimize the time she is away from me as much as possible. I also text them....constantly.
#6 "I wish I could work, I could really use a break from my kids every now and then"
Maybe you're not understanding that I only get to see my daughter two hours on some days when I work. When those two hours are full of getting dinner ready or running errands then it doesn't feel like much at all. Its actually not even a break, because I feel pulled in a different direction and am constantly stressing about whats happening wherever she is.
#5 "You think work is work? Try staying home with your kids, now that's work"
Why cant they both be work? Just because I only got three months with my little girl before going back does not mean that I don't know what its like. Many women combat boredom, depression and anxiety when staying home. I know its tough, but isn't every stage of life? Lets not play the victim for getting to be a mom when so many out there will never get to. Its definitely hard work, but its a privilege denied to many.
#4 "I take three naps a day"
You should never under any circumstance tell someone that has to wake up and go to work all day after a rough restless night that you get to take three naps a day. I am so happy for the girl in my ward who sleeps through the night, AND gets three naps while her child is napping, but sometimes you just don't want to be reminded that someone out there is sleeping double what you are able to.
#3 "It must be so nice not to have to clean and cook all day"
Surprisingly lots and LOTS of people seem to think that if you have someone to watch your kid, you also have a magical maid who comes at night to clean EVERYTHING and wash EVERYTHING and place frozen meals in your freezer for you to pop out at a moments notice. That's my kind of fairy tale. The truth is that when I get home from getting criticized by my boss and lifting 300lb broken people out of bed that don't want to(I'm a PTA in a nursing home), I too get to cook dinner, do dishes, clean the house, do the laundry etc., And i'm also expected by society to lose more than my baby weight. And I have half the time to do it as most moms that I know. It rocks. I'm actually updating my FB post today to warn people that since the semester has started, they can from this point on EXPECT my house to be dirty.
#2 "You're child wont remember you're her mom if you work full time"
Never NEVER say this. Ever since someone very close to us said this, it has been a constant worry of mine, which I know isn't right, because its dumb and should NEVER have been said. Its absolutely ridiculous to think that my little one won't know who I am when I come home. If that were the case, every child in america would say "Who's this dude?" when daddy came home. That doesn't happen.
#1 "I thought about going back to work, but I just love my child too much."
OUCH! Burn. This is the number one thing to me because it has been said SO OFTEN! I wish people would just think before they said it because it is stating that because I returned to work I must NOT love my child, which is so far from the truth. I returned to work BECAUSE I love her, THAT much. And if those girls ever had to choose between their little one going hungry or going to work, I think I know what they would choose. Luckily and hopefully they will never have to make that choice because of our credit system in this country that lets your husband go to school now and pay it back later.. In fact, I would probably be taking that same route of 50-100 thousand dollars of debt for my husband to finish school because its easier if God hadn't specifically told us not to. Heavenly Father told me(more like shouted) early into high school and for years to follow that I would need to finish college fast and stay out of debt as much as possible. But its also been talked about by MANY prophets and apostles to get a GOOD education( I'm talking to you Harry Potter degrees of Durham University) and stay out of debt if its right and possible. I believe someday we will be thanking our lucky stars that we listened.
I know i'm preaching to the choir and that most of the people that said those things will never get the kick in the pants that they deserve, but it makes me feel a little better that I do have friends and family that believe me when I say that working is hard but its necessary, and that Emma is a happy baby and will not be left abandoned anywhere.
#7 "Don't you think you're abandoning your child?"
I have never left my child in a dumpster or in the wilderness to fend for herself. Talk to the two girls that watch her part time or my husband that watches her till I get home and they'll tell you that I'm constantly trying to get off even ten mins early to minimize the time she is away from me as much as possible. I also text them....constantly.
#6 "I wish I could work, I could really use a break from my kids every now and then"
Maybe you're not understanding that I only get to see my daughter two hours on some days when I work. When those two hours are full of getting dinner ready or running errands then it doesn't feel like much at all. Its actually not even a break, because I feel pulled in a different direction and am constantly stressing about whats happening wherever she is.
#5 "You think work is work? Try staying home with your kids, now that's work"
Why cant they both be work? Just because I only got three months with my little girl before going back does not mean that I don't know what its like. Many women combat boredom, depression and anxiety when staying home. I know its tough, but isn't every stage of life? Lets not play the victim for getting to be a mom when so many out there will never get to. Its definitely hard work, but its a privilege denied to many.
#4 "I take three naps a day"
You should never under any circumstance tell someone that has to wake up and go to work all day after a rough restless night that you get to take three naps a day. I am so happy for the girl in my ward who sleeps through the night, AND gets three naps while her child is napping, but sometimes you just don't want to be reminded that someone out there is sleeping double what you are able to.
#3 "It must be so nice not to have to clean and cook all day"
Surprisingly lots and LOTS of people seem to think that if you have someone to watch your kid, you also have a magical maid who comes at night to clean EVERYTHING and wash EVERYTHING and place frozen meals in your freezer for you to pop out at a moments notice. That's my kind of fairy tale. The truth is that when I get home from getting criticized by my boss and lifting 300lb broken people out of bed that don't want to(I'm a PTA in a nursing home), I too get to cook dinner, do dishes, clean the house, do the laundry etc., And i'm also expected by society to lose more than my baby weight. And I have half the time to do it as most moms that I know. It rocks. I'm actually updating my FB post today to warn people that since the semester has started, they can from this point on EXPECT my house to be dirty.
#2 "You're child wont remember you're her mom if you work full time"
Never NEVER say this. Ever since someone very close to us said this, it has been a constant worry of mine, which I know isn't right, because its dumb and should NEVER have been said. Its absolutely ridiculous to think that my little one won't know who I am when I come home. If that were the case, every child in america would say "Who's this dude?" when daddy came home. That doesn't happen.
#1 "I thought about going back to work, but I just love my child too much."
OUCH! Burn. This is the number one thing to me because it has been said SO OFTEN! I wish people would just think before they said it because it is stating that because I returned to work I must NOT love my child, which is so far from the truth. I returned to work BECAUSE I love her, THAT much. And if those girls ever had to choose between their little one going hungry or going to work, I think I know what they would choose. Luckily and hopefully they will never have to make that choice because of our credit system in this country that lets your husband go to school now and pay it back later.. In fact, I would probably be taking that same route of 50-100 thousand dollars of debt for my husband to finish school because its easier if God hadn't specifically told us not to. Heavenly Father told me(more like shouted) early into high school and for years to follow that I would need to finish college fast and stay out of debt as much as possible. But its also been talked about by MANY prophets and apostles to get a GOOD education( I'm talking to you Harry Potter degrees of Durham University) and stay out of debt if its right and possible. I believe someday we will be thanking our lucky stars that we listened.
I know i'm preaching to the choir and that most of the people that said those things will never get the kick in the pants that they deserve, but it makes me feel a little better that I do have friends and family that believe me when I say that working is hard but its necessary, and that Emma is a happy baby and will not be left abandoned anywhere.
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